|
You Might Be A Computer Nerd If… your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50 you want an 48X CDROM for Christmas Dilbert is your hero you introduce your wife as “mylady@home.wife” [...]
1. Grasp cat firmly in your arms. Cradle its head on your elbows, just as if you were giving a baby a bottle. Coo confidently, “That’s a nice kitty.” Drop pill into its mouth. 2. Retrieve cat from top of lamp and pill from under sofa. 3. Follow same procedure as in 1, but hold [...]
How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back? Yeah, I used to cut class a lot too. Let me smell that shirt – don’t worry, it’s good for another week. Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I’ll be glad to feed and walk him every day. That outfit isn’t [...]
40. Oh I just couldn’t. Hell, she’s only sixteen. 39. I’ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex. 38. Duct tape won’t fix that. 37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael. 36. Come to think of it, I’ll have a Heineken. 35. We don’t keep firearms in this house. 34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer? [...]