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Law enforcement officials report an ongoing investigation into leads linking mass murder suspect Jeffrey Dahmer with dozens of unsolved incidents in a score of countries and several historical periods. “This case is turning into one of those Russian dolls that you just keep finding more dolls inside,” says Marshall Perkins, a Milwaukee Police Department detective. [...]
The Pentagon recently found it had too many Generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any General who retired right away, his full annual benefits PLUS $10,000 for every inch measured, in a straight line along the retiring general’s body, between two points he chose. The first General accepted. He asked the pension [...]
This ethnic fellow Vietnamese buys a convertible one day from a local car dealer. Later the same night, the car dealer receives a phone call. “Excuse me, but do you happen to have an extra set of keys for my new car? I seem to have locked mine in.” “Yeah, sure. Where are you?” “Corner of Main [...]
An American, a Frenchman, and a Vietnamese refugee had a discussion about the happiness of life. “To me, happiness is returning home on a Monday evening, having a wonderful dinner prepared by my wife, then slouching on the sofa watching Monday Night Football,” the American said. “You Americans are not romantic at all”, the French [...]
A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labour is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth. “I’m afraid I don’t have a husband” she replies “O.K. do you have a boyfriend?” asks the Midwife “No, no boyfriend either.” “Do you have a partner [...]
A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labour is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth. “I’m afraid I don’t have a husband” she replies “O.K. do you have a boyfriend?” asks the Midwife “No, no boyfriend either.” “Do you have a partner [...]
A bloke wins the lottery and decides to buy himself a Harley Davidson, he goes down to his local bike shop and after purchasing a top of the range bike, the owner of the shop tells him to coat the bike in Vaseline every time it looks like raining. That night he goes and picks [...]
Three men go on holiday abroad together. The tourist office informs them that there is only one hotel in town with vacancies. The lads go along there, only to be told by reception that there is just one available room left in the hotel. They are not keen, but as it is their only option, [...]
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, “Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?” The wife replies, “Cut it off and shove it up his arse!” The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the [...]
10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers. 9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half. 8. See if they could finally do the splits. 7. See if it’s truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet. 6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch. 5. Get picked up [...]