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1. Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee. 2. Law of Gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. 3. Law of Probability – The probability of being watched is directly [...]
How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back? Yeah, I used to cut class a lot too. Let me smell that shirt – don’t worry, it’s good for another week. Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I’ll be glad to feed and walk him every day. That outfit isn’t [...]
There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St. Luke’s Nursing Home and the editor of the Cambridge rag, “The Cambridge Distorter”, told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twins. One of the twins was hard of hearing and the other could [...]
You live in Asia. You look at your friend and see that he has the same HAIRCUT as you. You tap on the table when someone is pouring you tea. People start yelling Ni Ho Ma? People think you’re Chinese no matter what part of Asia you are truly from. At a restaurant, you order [...]
There was this woman , and she takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Without her knowing, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she hides the lover in the closet, where the little boy is also hiding. The little boy [...]
A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, ‘Buk Buk BUK.’ The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and gives it to them…and the chickens leave shortly thereafter. Around midday, the two chickens return to the circulation desk quite vexed and say,’ Buk Buk BuKKOOK!’ [...]
Recently, the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network have launched hotlines for frogs. Here is the story of one frog and his discussing with his psychic. A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.” The frog says, [...]
Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. “In the last 15 races, I’ve won 8 of them!” Another horse breaks in, “Well in the last 27 races, I’ve won 19!!” “Oh that’s good, but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 28!”, says another, flicking [...]
After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband’s attention, he’d just shrug her off with some bored comment. This went on [...]
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To show the armadillo that it was possible. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get away from Colonel Sanders! Q: Why did the chicken cross the road twice? A: Because it was a double-crosser. Q: Why did the Iraqi chicken cross the [...]