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I know I haven’t known you very long and I shouldn’t be asking you for this so soon, but I really need it badly. I haven’t had it for a while and I can already feel it going in good and hard and coming out nice and soft. If you would do this for me [...]
An older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phony beard sat down at a bar and ordered a drink. As the bartender set it down, he asked, “Going to a party?” “Yeah, a costume party,” the man answered, “I’m supposed to come dressed as my love life.” “But you look like Abe [...]
This guy is standing outside on his balcony on the 5th floor of his apartment when he spots this gorgeous babe sunbathing on the 3rd floor balcony wearing the skimpiest bathing suit he’s ever seen. He watches her for 3 days straight, and can’t stand it any longer. He sends down a note on a [...]
For all you guys out there who just can’t figure it out, here it is: In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…Sorry, that’s [...]
One day God came to Adam and said, ”I’ve got some good news and some bad news.” ”Well, give me the good news first.” ”I’ve got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and have wonderful conversations with Eve. The other [...]
After spending time with Eve, Adam was walking in the Garden with God. Adam told God how much the woman means to him and how blessed he feels to have her. Adam began to ask questions about her. Adam: Lord, Eve is beautiful. Why did you make her so beautiful? God: So you will always [...]
The new minister’s wife had a baby. The minister appealed to the congregation for a salary increase to cover the addition to the family. The congregation agreed that it was only fair, and approved it. When the next child arrived, the minister appealed and again the congregation approved the increase. Several years and five children [...]
A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. When he finally gets himself to the doctor, he says,” How bad is it doc? I’m going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancee is still a virgin in every [...]
Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple [...]