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A man calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there’s a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as [...]
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: “Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE and FEMALE procedures have [...]
There once was an evil priest who did not fear God or man. His duties for the church included counting the offerings and ringing the bells to summon people to Mass. But his heart was filled with greed, and he began to take advantage of the good people of his parish. The priest stole money [...]
It could be considered the ultimate test of one´s manhood. Two Taiwanese Chi Kung experts set a world record by pulling an 11-ton truck with their penises. Hundreds of enthusiastic spectators watched as the two masters performed the test of strength in preparation for plans to pull an airplane in the same way. According to [...]
1) If you and I were squirrels, I could bust a nut in your hole. 2) How do you like your eggs: fried, scrambled or fertilized? 3) My love for you is like diarrhea; I just can’t hold it in. 4) If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, then could [...]
Three couples went to a resturant. The women wanted to compliment the men with something that was on the table. “Could you pass me the sugar, sugar?” said the first gal. “Could you pass me the honey, honey?” said the second. “Could you pass me the bacon, pig?” said the third.
1) Excitable — Shorts half-twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts. 2) Sociable — Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not. 3) Cross-eyed — Looks into the next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed. 4) Timid — Cannot piss if someone is watching, flushes urinal, comes back later. 5) [...]
A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms. The father replies, ”Well, you see that 3-pack? That’s for when you’re in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for [...]
Let’s watch Lifetime! Sex is overrated. I don’t want to go too far on the first date. Yes, I did notice your sister’s breasts are bigger than yours. There is nothing I like better than crawling into bed with a good book. I’m glad I don’t have a large penis. My hips are too big. [...]