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A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, “I’ve got to take you in, pal. You’re obviously drunk.” Our wasted friend asked, “Officer, are ya absolutely sure I’m drunk?” “Yeah, buddy, I’m sure,” said the copper. [...]
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!” The next morning he got up early and left for work. When [...]
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. I love deadlines. I especially like the Whooshing sound they make as they go flying by. Tell me what you need, and I’ll tell you how to get along without it. Accept that some days you [...]
Law enforcement officials report an ongoing investigation into leads linking mass murder suspect Jeffrey Dahmer with dozens of unsolved incidents in a score of countries and several historical periods. “This case is turning into one of those Russian dolls that you just keep finding more dolls inside,” says Marshall Perkins, a Milwaukee Police Department detective. [...]
There was a man who worked all of his life and saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, “Now listen, when I die, I want you to take [...]
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. Source:jokes2go.com
Men and women are not alike. Sure, you thought you already knew that. But now we have conculsive proof! After countless hours of surveys and studies on the following topics, these facts have emerged: RELATIONSHIPS: First, a man does not call a relationshipo a relationship – he refers to it as “that time when me [...]
COURSE 001 Combating Stupidity COURSE 002 You Too Can Do Housework COURSE 003 PMS – Learn When To Keep Your Mouth Shut COURSE 004 How To Fill An Ice Tray COURSE 005 We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings For Christmas COURSE 006 Wonderful Laundry Techniques (Formerly – Don’t Wash My Silks) COURSE 007 Understanding The [...]
THIS MEANS: 1. He doesn’t feel the way he usually does. 2. He is not in complete control of his hands. 3. His emotions are shattered. 4. His skin is numb. 5. He has transofrmed into an alter-ego (i.e. professional wrestler) 6. He is not feeling himself, in a biblical sense. 7. He has been [...]
