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A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed. ‘Just where the heck do you think you’re going!’, said the man. ‘I’m going to Las Vegas’, said the wife, ‘I just found out I can get $400 a night for what I give you [...]
Some things you should be seeing in news reports… In the Straits Times, it is reported that ‘Overseas traffic experts give the ERP thumbs-up’. They left out the 2nd portion, ‘Local drivers give the ERP the fingers’. That there is a new Bond movie to be film in Malaysia, about an insane Prime Minister who [...]
The English did invent the English Language, but they cannot use it effectively when communicating their intentions. Just compare these few common phrases that S’poreans and Britons use to say the same thing: When all has been sold out… Britons: I’m sorry, Sir, but we don’t seem to have the sweater you want in your [...]
An American GI was fighting in Vietnam. One day he received 2 letters from home, one letter comes from his mom asking for his picture, one letter comes from his girl friend also asking for his picture. He had only 1 picture that he took at a beach standing naked. He didn’t know what to [...]
A business woman named Cindy was in the airport VIP lounge on her way to Los Angeles. While in the VIP lounge, she noticed Donald Trump sitting on the sofa enjoying a brandy. As luck would have it, Cindy was meeting with a very important client who was running somewhat late. Being a bold business [...]
One day a mathematician, a statistician, and a philosopher were out having a walk in the countryside when they saw a brown cow in a field. The statistician said, “See that cow. From that we can conclude that all cows in this country are brown.” “Oh no,” the mathematician replied, “we can only conclude that [...]
A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled [...]
One night, a Delta twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above NewJersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, Michael Jordan, BillGates, the Dali Lama, and a hippie. Suddenly, an illegal oxygen generator exploded loudly in the luggage compartment, and the passenger cabin began tofill with smoke. The cockpit door opened, and the pilot [...]
