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Archive for the ‘General Jokes’ Category

The Mathematician, the Statistician, and the Philosopher

November 30th, 2009

One day a mathematician, a statistician, and a philosopher were out having a walk in the countryside when they saw a brown cow in a field. The statistician said, “See that cow. From that we can conclude that all cows in this country are brown.” “Oh no,” the mathematician replied, “we can only conclude that [...]

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Blondes

November 30th, 2009

A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled [...]

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A Bill Gates Joke

November 30th, 2009

One night, a Delta twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above NewJersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, Michael Jordan, BillGates, the Dali Lama, and a hippie. Suddenly, an illegal oxygen generator exploded loudly in the luggage compartment, and the passenger cabin began tofill with smoke. The cockpit door opened, and the pilot [...]

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The Mathematicians

November 30th, 2009

Three mathematicians were walking down to the railway station one day, deep in conversation about mathematics. They were so absorbed in what they were talking about that as they approached the station, they failed to hear the announcement that the train was about to leave. However they did notice when the train started to pull [...]

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The Train Compartment

November 30th, 2009

There were four people sitting in a train compartment: an old lady who was knitting, a young woman who was reading a book, a lecturer who was talking about his research, and his young student whom he was taking to a conference, and who was listening to his lecturer and taking down notes. This situation [...]

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Universal Laws

November 30th, 2009

1. Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee. 2. Law of Gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. 3. Law of Probability – The probability of being watched is directly [...]

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Twin sisters

November 30th, 2009

There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St. Luke’s Nursing Home and the editor of the Cambridge rag, “The Cambridge Distorter”, told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twins. One of the twins was hard of hearing and the other could [...]

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Title: You Know You’re Asian

November 30th, 2009

You live in Asia. You look at your friend and see that he has the same HAIRCUT as you. You tap on the table when someone is pouring you tea. People start yelling Ni Ho Ma? People think you’re Chinese no matter what part of Asia you are truly from. At a restaurant, you order [...]

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Need Water

October 20th, 2009

A traveler was stumbling through the desert, desperate for water, when he saw something far off in the distancẹ Hoping to find water, he walked towards the image, only to find a little old peđler sitting at a card table with a bunch of neckties laid out. The parched wanderer asked, “Please, Ím dying of [...]

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Married life

October 16th, 2009

Married is so very frustrating !!! In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

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