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Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman [...]
According to “The Australian,” an airliner recently encountered severe vibration in flight. The captain decided to make an emergency landing, and switched on the seat belt sign. The vibration stopped immediately. A passenger emerged from a lavatory and explained that he had been jogging in place inside. source from: ahajokes
How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back? Yeah, I used to cut class a lot too. Let me smell that shirt – don’t worry, it’s good for another week. Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I’ll be glad to feed and walk him every day. That outfit isn’t [...]
What does Hannibal Lecter call Britney Spears? Dinner at Hooters.
A man goes into a supermarket and buys a six-pack, a bag of potato chips, and a frozen pizza. The girl at the register smiles at him and says, “Single, huh?” Sarcastically the guy says, “Yeah. How’d you guess, genius?” Without missing a beat she says, “Because you’re fucking ugly.”
One day at the end of class, little Johnny’s teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story. Little Suzy raises her hand. “My dad owns a farm and [...]
A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was. His dad thought for a [...]
Three guys, a teenager, his father and his grandfather go out to play a round of golf. Just before the son is ready to tee off, this fine looking woman walks up carrying her clubs. She says her partner didn’t show and asks if she can join them. The guys say sure, since she is [...]
Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a shower? A: You don’t have to turn a blonde on to get her wet.
An Alabama man turned 18 and went to a local house of ill repute to experience his first sexual experience with a partner. He approached the madam and shyly asked if he could retain the services of one of her fine ladies. The Madam was happy to oblige and started to rattle off a list [...]