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Archive for the ‘Animal Jokes’ Category

Tarzania

December 26th, 2009

What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance? “Look, a herd of elephants in the distance” What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses in the distance? Nothing. He doesn’t recognize them. What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of giraffes in [...]

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A veterinarian surgeon…

December 26th, 2009

A veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after which they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed. At about 2:00 in the morning, [...]

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Hungry Snake

December 26th, 2009

Having arived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no [...]

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Man and wife at the zoo

December 26th, 2009

It’s a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo. She’s wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless w/straps. As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars, holding on w/one [...]

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These chickens want books

November 30th, 2009

A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, ‘Buk Buk BUK.’ The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and gives it to them…and the chickens leave shortly thereafter. Around midday, the two chickens return to the circulation desk quite vexed and say,’ Buk Buk BuKKOOK!’ [...]

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A frog calls a psychic

November 30th, 2009

Recently, the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network have launched hotlines for frogs. Here is the story of one frog and his discussing with his psychic. A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.” The frog says, [...]

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They’re boasting about race records

November 30th, 2009

Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. “In the last 15 races, I’ve won 8 of them!” Another horse breaks in, “Well in the last 27 races, I’ve won 19!!” “Oh that’s good, but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 28!”, says another, flicking [...]

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Purchasing a new bird

November 30th, 2009

After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband’s attention, he’d just shrug her off with some bored comment. This went on [...]

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Question and answer animal jokes

November 30th, 2009

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To show the armadillo that it was possible. Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get away from Colonel Sanders! Q: Why did the chicken cross the road twice? A: Because it was a double-crosser. Q: Why did the Iraqi chicken cross the [...]

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Con vẹt láo xược

November 5th, 2009

Chủ cửa hàng giới thiệu với khách: “Đây là con vẹt rất thông minh và lịch sự. Mỗi khi ông ném hạt dẻ cho nó ăn, ông sẽ nhận được một lời “cảm ơn” của nó”. Ông khách hồ hởi mua con vẹt nhưng lập tức đem trả vào ngày hôm sau với vẻ tức [...]

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