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An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender says to him, “You know, a pint goes [...]
A drunken Irishman gets on a train and asks the conductor how long the trip is between Limerick to Cork. “About two hours,” says the conductor. “Okay,” says the drunkard, “then how long is the trip between Cork to Limerick?” The irate conductor says to the drunk “It’s still about two hours, laddie. Why’d ya [...]
One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The [...]
Bud Nelson, from New York, flew to Knock Airport in the west of Ireland on Business. As he walked down the stairs from the plane onto the runway he noticed a small Irishman standing beside a long table with a assortment of Human Skulls. “What are you doing?” asked the American. “Oh, I’m selling skulls”, [...]
A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap. When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given [...]
The Indians asked their Chief in autumn if the winter was going to be cold or not. Not really knowing an answer, the chief replies that the winter was going to be cold and that the members of the village were to collect wood to be prepared. Being a good leader, he then went to [...]
In the English grammar lesson, the teacher asked: – What are the simple past tense and the simple fu¬ture tense of “MARRY”? A pupil answered: – Teacher, “LOVE” and “DIVORCE”. source from: khoa-lhl
Although this married couple enjoyed their new fishing boat together, it was the husband who was behind the wheel operating the boat. He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day out on the lack he said to his wife. “Please take the wheel, dear. Pretend that I am having a [...]
A wife was telling her “Football Referee” husband: – Dear! There is an anniversary of death in my parents family. You’ll prepare to go there with me, won’t you? Alas! I can’t go, because this afternoon I have to work as a referee for the Championship Cup Competition Football Match. You’ll have to go alone! [...]
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, “Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?” The wife replies, “Cut it off and shove it up his arse!” The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the [...]