Story of my friend
February 9th, 2012
I have a friend who is a pilot on a 747. I said “Hi Jack.” He shot me. source form: ahajokes
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Scary organization
February 9th, 2012
The most dangerous organization in America today is: a) The KKK b) The American Nazi Party c) The Delta Frequent Flyer Club source form: ahajokes
An emergency landing
February 9th, 2012
According to “The Australian,” an airliner recently encountered severe vibration in flight. The captain decided to make an emergency landing, and switched on the seat belt sign. The vibration stopped immediately. A passenger emerged from a lavatory and explained that he had been jogging in place inside. source form: ahajokes
Menu item translations
January 4th, 2012
The following are items found overseas in which people have made inappropriate use of English words for various products, and bizarre menu items in restaurants. Cold shredded children and sea blubber in spicy sauce – China Indonesian Nazi Goreng – Hong Kong Muscles Of Marines/Lobster Thermos – Cairo French fried ships – Cairo Garlic Coffee [...]
Bad corporate slogans
January 4th, 2012
These are fabricated corporate slogans that would never have made if far if they entered the real world. Microsoft: “How much are you going to pay today?” MTV: “Loud and easy to spell.” Saks 5th Avenue: “You Could Shop Here if You’re Poor, But That Would be Stupid!” Iguana: “The other green meat.” Nike: “Just [...]
Food one-liners
January 4th, 2012
The snack bar next door to an atom smasher was called “The Fission Chips.” On April Fools Day, a mother put a fire cracker under the pancakes. She blew her stack. A new chef from India was fired a week after starting the job. He keep favoring curry. A couple of kids tried using pickles [...]
You can now eat your own plate
January 4th, 2012
Taipei, Taiwan (AP) – Diners tempted to lick a plate after a delicious meal can now go a step further – eat the plate. Chen Liang-erh, 50, an amateur inventor, announced Friday that he had perfected an edible plate made from wheat grain, and that he planned to mass-produce it and other edible crockery including [...]
Purchasing mailing lists
January 4th, 2012
With more than twelve billion catalogs being mailed annually, it’s little wonder that marketers are distributing mailing lists anywhere possible. In one particularly cruel move, the proprietors of a chocolate catalog purchased the mailing list of a weight-loss organization. Chocolate sales rose almost immediately, but the weight-loss group wised up and now keeps it clients’ [...]
Three Pints of Guinness
December 7th, 2011
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender says to him, “You know, a pint goes [...]
About Two Hours
December 7th, 2011
A drunken Irishman gets on a train and asks the conductor how long the trip is between Limerick to Cork. “About two hours,” says the conductor. “Okay,” says the drunkard, “then how long is the trip between Cork to Limerick?” The irate conductor says to the drunk “It’s still about two hours, laddie. Why’d ya [...]