|
A Filipino pilot who became well known for his absent-mindedness was invited to pilot a new flying boat. The pilot had a good time flying. After spending a couple of hours in the air, the pilot decided that it was time to land. He was about to make a landing on the ground when his [...]
Wilfred had just learned his abc’s and was very scared of doing them in front of the class. The teacher, though, told him that the best way to conquer his fears would be to just go ahead and do it. So, trembling, he stood in front of the class and began. “ABCDEFGHIJLKMNOQRSTUVWXYZ.” “Very good, Wilfred. [...]
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day!
It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, “Hey Sweetheart, how’d you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?” Well, she immediately went [...]
A squad of American soldiers was patrolling the Iraqi border, when they came across a badly mangled dead body. As they got closer, they found it was an Iraqi soldier. A short distance up the road, they found a badly mangled American soldier in a ditch on the other side of the road, struggling to [...]
Q: What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonalds on Friday night in Iowa? A: Prom
A woman keeps asking her husband if her boobs are so small. ”Does this shirt make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?” she asks. The next day her husband buys her a mirror. Before bed, she always looks in the mirror and asks her husband, ”Does this shirt make them look [...]
Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells to the other, “How do you get to the other side?” “You are on the other side,” the other blonde yells back
Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When George sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam’s chair. They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the First button. A boxing glove springs out of a box [...]
A Scottish tourist attended his first baseball game in the US and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring “Run….Run!” The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent: “R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya!” A third batter hits a [...]